The Boys' Shopping Escapade!
by The Duelist of the Rose
Summary: Ever since Yami got his own body back he's become a recluse, skulking about the Game Shop! Yugi's determined to cure him. And the best way to do that? Take him to - THE MALL! But the pair better beware! A scheming tomb robber's right behind!


**Hi everyone! Rose D. here!**

**When it comes to writing, I'm really a dramatic at heart! And yet I really love to read comedy stories! So _that _means I have the hardest time writing comedies!! I HATE THAT! Anyway, this story is my first major attempt to write something funny! We'll see how well I can do, hmm?**

**Please let me know how I do!!**

**Okay, to summerize it real quick: Yugi and Joey take Yami shopping, and while there, they get into some hijinks only boys can seem to manage!**

**Oh, and Ryou and Bakura aren't my fav characters, but that doesn't mean I won't write the best about them to the best of my ability!**

**Hope you like this story!**

**Oh, and when is use the word 'queer' in this story I'm not meaning gay guys! I'm using the word in its original context. (See dictionary for meaning.) -.-**

**Yu-Gi-Oh Short**

**The Boys Shopping Trip!**

Yami yawned and turned his bored gaze back to the cold bowl of cereal on the table in front of him. Yugi's laughter came in from the front room yet again , and seemed to be rising in pitch; Yami's younger counterpart was watching TV, Saturday morning cartoons to be exact.

Yami sighed, he never cared much for TV; he tried to shovel another spoonful of soggy flakes into his mouth, and felt like gagging.

'Why me?' he wondered, 'How did I come to be _here_? _Now_?' He turned his head to look out the window situated right above the kitchen sink. 'This era is so foreign to the one I grew up in, and yet, how do I know that? I hardly remember anything of my life growing up!'

Pharaoh Yami flinched then, a stray memory appearing unbidden before his mind's-eye. The memory was faded and fuzzy, and moved with the slowness of frame-by-frame.

Yami began scratching his head with all vigor, as though the memory itself itched inside his brain.

It was then, Yugi came into the kitchen, carrying his empty cereal bowl to the sink. "Oh I love that show!" he was saying, "It's always so funny!"

The Pharaoh looked at him. Yugi turned, smiling, yet that quickly changed as soon as he saw Yami's bowl on the table.

"You're not done eating, _yet_??" Yugi groaned.

"Oh!" Yami sounded, pushing the bowl away and bouncing to his feet, "No, no! I _am_ done."

"Well good!" Yugi chippered, "Then we can get changed and get going! Remember, I'm taking you to the mall today."

Yami blinked. "Oh yes. But, uh, do we _have _to go? I'd much rather stay home."

"_Now Yami_, I've been watching you lately. And I can tell, your brain's beginning to rot! You sit around the house like a slouch! You don't come to school with me, and you don't ever leave this Game Shop to go anywhere else for fear you'll get run over by a car!!"

"I do not!!" Yami spat back defensively.

"OK. I'm exaggerating. But still, it seems to me that ever since you got your old body back, you've become a recluse! I won't have it, understand?"

"But I don't understand your world Yugi! The knowledge I once had of it came from your mind! But that's gone now! What if I go out there, and cause some horrible disaster to befall the people?? Then instead of saving the world as I once did, I'll be destroying!"

"Now _you're _exaggerating!" Yugi barked, seizing hold of Yami's wrist, "The best way to get over the fear of something is to (a) pray about it! And (b), go do it!!" Yugi turned, dragging Yami after him, "You're going to learn to live in this world if it kills me!"

Very soon, Yugi and Yami were dressed.

"Thanks Grampa." Yugi smiled big as his grandpa had just given him a nice wad of money for his wallet; Solomon didn't want Yami and Yugi not to be able to by some things while walking into the numerous shops.

"Ho ho! Have fun you two! I'll see you later!" Grandpa waved goodbye from behind the counter.

Yami swallowed and tried to smile.

The pair stepped out onto the street; cars were passing back and forth along the road.

"Just stick close to me, do what I do, and you'll be fine." Yugi assured Yami. Yami nodded, but _was _sweating and could feel his heart thumping in his chest.

'I'm not a recluse, I refuse to be a recluse!' he was telling himself, 'Trust Yugi and the Heart of the Cards!'

Yami was rather stiff as he walked behind Yugi; soon Yugi realized that the Pharaoh _was _behind, and pulled him forward to walk beside him.

"Loosen up Yami." Yugi prodded.

"_Sure_." Yami slurred, trying to fight off the ice chill he felt in his chest.

Sooner, rather than later, Yugi and Yami arrived at the mall; it was a large, new structure, rather aerospace in design.

"See!" Yugi said, tapping Yami on the arm, "We made it just fine."

To Yugi's joy, he saw Yami begin to brighten. "You're right." Yami smiled, "Nothing happened. Perhaps — I will be able to learn how to live in this world."

"Sure you will! Now come on! I'll race you inside!" Yugi started for the doors; Yami started after him.

"HEY!" came a shout. The pair stopped short of entering.

"Joey!" Yugi sounded.

"Oh Joey! Hello!" Yami called. Joey came up to them.

"Hey Yami, nice to see you out and about." Joey grinned.

Yami seemed sheepish. "Uh, yes, isn't it."

Yugi looked at Joey, and the blonde perceived his friend was silently trying to tell him something.

"What are you doing here anyway?" queried Yami.

"Uhh," Joey looked at the Pharaoh, " I came to pick up a jacket for my sister. She said she saw it here just yesterday, _and _it was on sale _and _the very last one. Our mom would have brought her to come and buy it today, but Serenity had to go to her writing club. Anyway!" Joey shook his head, "Long story short,"

"Yeah, I get it." Yugi smiled, "Well, let's not just stand around, let's go in!"

So, the three boys passed on through the wide doors, quite unaware that two pairs of eyes had been watching the whole time.

Bakura, the tomb robber, leaned out of the bushes.

"Bakura, I don't like that look in your eye." came Ryou's voice; he was bent likewise, behind his ancient counterpart, "When you get that look in your eye you cause all sorts of trouble!"

"Be quiet you gimboyd. Plans are hatching in my mind, plans to mess with the Pharaoh's head."

"Well, if plans are hatching, perhaps I should find a cage to put them in." Ryou smiled cheekily.

"I—" began Bakura.

"Hey!" barked an authoritive voice, "What're you doing in the bushes?!"

Ryou started up, jerking so violently that he shoved Bakura forward. The tomb robber landed smack against the cement.

"Oh officer!" Ryou sweat-dropped, "Nothing! We weren't doing anything a'tall, really! You can even check!" Ryou stumbled out of the potted bushes and down onto the pavement.

"Oh, bug off!" Bakura shouted, starting to get up. Ryou dove forward and slapped his hands over Bakura's mouth.

"He didn't mean it officer!" Ryou shrilled, becoming more and more flustered, "And we weren't doing anything, _really_! We were just hiding from some people we knew! My we go now??"

The man narrowed his eyes on them, but nodded. Bakura, on his knees, was yanking at Ryou's hands.

"Thank you!!" Ryou was sweating profusely. He grabbed Bakura's arm and raced off full tilt. In fact, Bakura's Light ran so fast, that they were both nearly to the mall's other entrance before the tomb robber yanked his arm free.

"You ruddy git!!" Bakura spat, "I'll murder you!!"

Ryou screamed and ran as Bakura pulled a giant axe from nowhere and began chasing him.

Yami, Yugi and Joey stood right under the immense pyramid-shaped skylight.

"Ah I love this place!" Yugi trilled, "The architecture is so neat and modern!"

"_Modern_??" Yami scoffed, pointing upward,"The pyramid has been around for millenniums Yugi!"

Yugi gave Yami a sarcastic look. "No duh, I'm not stupid."

"Well, you're the one who said '_modern_.'" Yami rebutted.

"I meant overall!!" Yugi screamed. The "twins" faced off, glaring at each other.

Joey began backing away from them. "Erm, I'm just gunna go over there, okay?"

"Why?!" they shouted, turning to face him.

Joey sweat-dropped. "Uhh, that's the store that has my sister's jacket. I'm just gunna go get it."

"Oh wait! We'll come with you!"

Joey blinked, amazed at how fast Yami and Yugi had gotten over their "discussion." "Uhh, K." he said.

They walked forward.

Yami stopped and leaned his head back to look at the neon sign glowing above the store's entrance. "'Clothes & More'." he recited.

"Come on Yami!" Yugi beckoned, following after Joey. The Pharaoh jerked, realizing he was supposed to stay next to Yugi, lest something should happen; he jumped to catch up.

The three boys went on through the elongated aisles — and soon realized they had passed into the girls' clothes section. As they went along, the clothing selection went from jackets, to shirts & pants, to pajamas and sock-things, to —

Yugi and Joey's faces became furiously red, and, aside from becoming very quiet, they stared at their feet. Yami however, merely seemed confused at the sight. He could read the sign hanging from the ceiling above: Girls Apparel

The Pharaoh stopped and took a small article of clothing from its rack. "Do girls really wear these things?" he asked, appealing to Yugi for the answer.

Yugi stopped stiff, and spun to face his Shadow. "Yami! Put that down!" Yugi jumped toward Yami with _such _haste, that the Pharaoh became frightened that he done something very wrong, and quickly put the item back.

Yugi seized the Pharaoh's wrists and pulled him downward 'til they were eye-level. "Listen - very - carefully, while we're in this section of the store, DO NOT – I repeat – DO NOT _pick anything up_."

Yami stared blankly at Yugi; he was sweating again.

"Got it?" Yugi asked, gripping Yami's wrists tighter.

Yami nodded. "I stick close to you. I do what you do."

Yugi gave a curt nod.

"Will you guys hurry up? The sooner I get Serenity's jacket, the sooner we can leave!" Joey barked, across the way. The twins nodded like bobble-heads and ran to their friend.

Ryou stumbled, but managed somehow to keep his feet. Bakura was right behind him, screaming bloody murder.

"Bakura! gasp I didn't mean it!!" Ryou cried desperately.

"You think I care?!" ranted the tomb robber, then chucking the axe forward at Ryou like a boomerang!

Ryou gasped – the toe of his shoe caught suddenly, and he fell to ground – just in time!

The axe went wheeling over head and Bakura realized, too late, that it was coming back – right for him!

"OH bug—!" The blunt edge of the axe slammed into the tomb robber's skull. He hit the pavement; the axe went skidding along, and ended up underneath someone's car there in the parking lot.

Bakura lay there, X's for eyes and little gold stars twirling above his head. Ryou came up and bent over him.

"I dare say old boy! That'll leave a nasty mark. You okay??"

"Oh, push off." groaned the tomb robber.

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**Rose D.: So, how was it? HOW WAS IT?? I'm terrible at comedy! OR AM I?!?**

**Britannica: Calm down, you're gunna have a hernia.**

**Rose D.:** -breaths in, breaths out- **Happy now 'mou hitori no boku'?**

**Britannica: Yes.**

**Rose D.: Good.** -turns to readers- **SO HOW'D I DO?? Please let me know! I'd love to be able to add _comedies_ to my "List of Things I Can Do Right!"**


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